Through the night
Through the night
Healthy sleep environment
Sleeping problems in connection to parental feelings, experience
Separation and attachment problems, connection of sleep problems with feeding and weaning
Part 1, Healthy sleep
What do we need for a healthy sleep?
Getting baby to sleep should be a routine daily activity, just like feeding or changing the nappy
Things to consider for healthy sleep (these can be different from one baby to another):
bedding,
room light,
room temperature,
how much sleep our baby needs
Noise level
How much sleep does a baby need?
Just as with adults, babies' and children's sleep patterns vary. From birth, some babies need more or less sleep than others.
Most newborn babies are asleep more than they are awake. Their total daily sleep varies, but can be from 8 hours up to 16 or 18 hours.
3-6 months: As your baby grows, they'll need fewer night feeds and will be able to sleep for longer. Some babies will sleep for 8 hours or longer at night, but not all. By 4 months, they may be spending around twice as long sleeping at night as they do during the day
6-12 months: For babies aged 6 months to a year, night feeds may no longer be necessary and some babies will sleep for up to 12 hours at night. Teething discomfort or hunger may wake some babies during the night.
What is a good room temperature for babies to sleep in?
It is important to make sure that your baby is a comfortable temperature – not too hot or too cold. The chance of SIDS is higher in babies who get too hot. (lullabytrust.org.uk)
A room temperature of 16-20°C – with light bedding or a lightweight, well-fitting baby sleep bag– is comfortable and safe for sleeping babies.
Every baby is different and our advice on room temperature is intended as a guide.
Reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) – Cot death
Increased risk:
Placing the baby on the tummy to sleep (Once your baby is old enough to roll over, there's no need to worry if they turn onto their tummy or side while sleeping )
do not use duvets, quilts, baby nests, wedges, bedding rolls or pillows
exposing a baby to cigarette smoke
Hot room temperature, overdressing baby increases the risk
there's an association between sleeping with your baby on a bed, sofa or chair (co-sleeping) and SIDS, especially if you have taken medicine or drugs that make you sleep more heavily
Reduced risk:
placing a baby to sleep on their back reduces the risk,
keep your baby's head uncovered – their blanket should be tucked in no higher than their shoulders
if wearing your baby in a sling or carrier, do not cover their head with the sling material or with a muslin
Breastfeeding your baby reduces the risk of SIDS. It's possible using a dummy at the start of a sleep (once breastfeeding is well established) also reduces the risk of SIDS. But the evidence is not strong and not all experts agree that dummies should be promoted
Part 2, Sleep problems
What is a sleep problem?
We talk about sleep problems when babies and young children find it difficult to settle down to sleep and/or wake up during the night with no particular reason
Accepted reasons to wake up for: feeding, nappy change, unwell baby (vomiting, fever, cough) change is room temperature, storm, noise , teething
Other reasons: blanket came off, need a cuddle, bad dream, feeling lonely,too dark in the room, wanting to play -> grandparent-parent-baby relationship, parents feelings/past experience projected to baby
All babies change their sleep patterns. Just when you think you have it sorted and you've all had a good night's sleep, the next night you might be up every 2 hours.
What can cause sleep problem?
The relationship between parents and child helps to form the sleep quality as part of the baby’s development
Sleep problems punctuate uncertainties between parents and baby at any stage of the baby’s development ->self doubt in parenting skills
Getting baby to sleep should be a routine just like feeding or changing nappy
Sleep routine: one of the most influential memories of childhood, the emotions of negotiations can influence the child’s emotions even many years later -> letting go, continuity or separation experience -> help the baby to do what he can do for himself
Babies have the need to feel secure which includes the feeling of being safe to be separate form the loving, protecting person (develops the feeling of self-worth, feeling, being understood.
Factors can lead to sleep problems:
family history (parents’ relationship with own parents),
parental relationships/interactions,
separation feeling
loss of family member,
previous miscarriage, stillbirth,
family history of SIDS
Grief (previous loss) and happiness (new baby) the same time: parents feelings can be confused, ambivalent, leading to mental health problems, separation issues, not being able to share the baby’s care with partner, grandparents (trust issue), breakdown of adult relationship
From the book:
How does this connect with the ability of sleeping or not? At an early stage of development the baby projects into his mothers intense and passionate feelings of all kinds, including loving, hating and aggressive ones. To many mothers it is all in the days of work to receive these feelings and give back to the baby a sense of understanding and putting into perspective. However, a mother because of her own experiences is frightened of what her baby is expressing will not be able to reassure him. He will be left unsettled and maybe unable to sleep. “
How much do mother and baby need to enjoy being together and prelude to enjoying being apart?
How much does being together enable future moving apart and how much does it prevent it?
There need to be a balance between expecting the self to separate and tolerating separation for the time while still feeling the need to be with the parent.
Part 3 Sleeping and feeding
Sleeping and feeding
Feeding is not only about satisfying hunger, building of trust, intimacy but also is the base for optimism and stimulating creative thinking in the present and future life, a sensual and learning experience
New mums and their babies are busy to negotiating and achieve a pattern of feeding and sleeping in first few weeks of life. It influences their future relationship
Separation and attachment problems, connection of problems with feeding and weaning
Feeding and sleeping are closely linked at the beginning, especially for those babies who fall asleep while feeding (breast or bottle)
lack of separation experience -> weaning = loosing the one known way to get baby to sleep
Nutritional difference between breast milk and formula
babies demanding breast feed to deal with emotional problems -> comfort eating
Over-feeding/night feeding and sleep
Those babies who got used to being woken by the parent to feed at night, will get into the pattern to wake even when the feed is no longer needed (low birth weight, difficult pregnancy, jaundice, etc.,) -> lack of settling into a pattern
babies demanding breast feed to deal with emotional problems -> comfort eating
Feeling of conflict between parents, hesitancy of parents (going back to work after having a baby)
Tips:
Helps to ease the transition, separation from mother, helps to build trust and feeling safe with others when baby is fed/bottle fed by other family members
Playing with the baby during/after the breast/bottle feed also connects with good sleep and helps the transition.
Finding ways to be together but at the same time separate
Need the “freedom to bite” without worrying about hurting mum
Mother’s functions: feeding and others (playing)
Healthy sleep pattern:
develops the feeling of self-worth, feeling, being understood
Babies have the need to feel secure which includes the feeling of being safe to be separate from the loving, protecting person
More information and help:
https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/baby-room-temperature/
https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/health/sleep-problems-in-young-children/
Parent-infant psychotherapy for sleep problems, Through the night, by Dilys Daws with Sarah Sutton